Parents are frequently judged by their child’s behavior. We all have heard the old adage, “Cannot you control your child?” when a child misbehaves. Then, friends, family, and professionals attribute the child’s actions to poor parenting skills. Foster and adoptive parents suffer from the same criticisms even though they may be successfully parenting their birth children.
When foster and adoptive parents undergo criticism from outsiders, this adds another layer of “being a parenting failure” because the child projects negativity towards the parent daily. It does not matter if it is well meaning, criticism and evaluative statements perpetrate the downward spiral. It is imperative for professionals to find means to support this family.
To support these families, the child’s disruptive behaviors must not be linked to the parenting skills. Instead, use this site to develop concrete means of support and resources to stabilize the family.